Friday, August 31, 2012

Miracle Carpet Cleaner!

Miracle Carpet Cleaner

Ok, confession time.  About a year ago, I was dragging a bag of recycling from the utility room in our basement up the stairs and out our side porch.  I dropped the bag outside, closed the door behind me and left.  

Maybe a week later, Dude goes "What the heck is this drippy stain on the steps??"  I go, "What drippy stain?"  He points it out to me.  Yikes.  I know exactly what it is and what it's from.  But being the douche canoe that I am, I deny any involvement and tell him that I don't know and have never seen it before.

steps to the basement, drippy stain
So for the last 300+ days, I've been ignoring this giant drippy stain.  

Miracle Carpet Cleaner - steps closeup

Cut to yesterday morning, Pepper, our problem furchild, ate half a pan of zucchini brownies.  These things were on top of the stove, out of her reach.  Lord knows how she got to them.  So anyways, I brought out the peroxide to make her throw up (she did and she's fine, for anyone nervous for the turd).  

Having the peroxide out reminded me of this pin that I never got around to trying, so I figured it was worth a try.  And what better place to test it out than the stairs!

If you're following along at home, you only need five things and you most likely already have all of them.

miracle carpet cleaner, peroxide, dawn, scrubber, bowl, towel
  • Hydrogen Peroxide - the original source calls for a cup, I used maybe half a cup, I don't think it's an exact science
  • Blue Dawn (I don't know if the blue part is essential, but I'm a follower not a leader)
  • A scrubber
  • A mixing bowl
  • A towel, preferably white so you can see how dirty your carpet is
Why is that picture taken outside in the grass?  I DON'T KNOW.  Don't judge me.

Mix up half a cup of your peroxide; and add in a couple of drops of the dish soap.  I added about 5.  Not enough to color the peroxide, but enough to know it was there.

Miracle Carpet Cleaner - peroxide and soap mixture
Stir up the mixture and head to your dirty carpet.  Grab your scrubber, dip it in the peroxide and soap mixture and scrub scrub scrub your carpet.  Scrub hard and work up a lather. 

Miracle carpet cleaner, scrubber, lather

Whatever you do, don't look at the scrubber afterwards or you will see this and be completely disturbed and want to go out and buy 10 Dysons to clean your carpets.

Miracle Carpet Cleaner - dog hair yucky scrubber
 Blot up the peroxide/soap mixture with your towel.  I used the towel to scrub a little too.

Miracle Carpet Cleaner - dirty towel after scrubbing
More gross.
Now, go work on another project and try to keep people and pets away from what is soon to be your nice clean carpet.

When your carpet is dry, vacuum up any residue and then sit back and pat yourself on the back because your carpet is as clean as the day you bought it!  

Miracle Carpet Cleaner - basement steps after

Can I remind you these drippy stains were over a YEAR old.  We've been walking on them (four feet, 8 paws plus Thanksgiving with 20 people) for almost 400 days.  And now you can barely tell they were there!

Miracle Carpet Cleaner - Basement Step, close up

I know you all love a good before and after so check it out:

Monday, August 27, 2012

Homemade Sugar Scrub or The Sugar Scrub That Could Create World Peace + FREE Printable!

Homemade Coconut Vanilla Sugar Scrub

Is there some kind of blogger rule about how long your post title should be?  If there is, I most definitely broke it.

Listen, in all seriousness, I've seen a million different sugar scrubs flying all over Pinterest these days and I usually blow them off.  My skin is dry year-round and I've never had any results with a sugar scrub until I tried this one.  Please understand that my first blog tutorial would not be some kind of dumb garbage that doesn't work. 

Now, let's make some!! 

First, gather your ingredients.  You'll need:

homemade sugar scrub, ingredients, sugar, coconut oil, essential oils
  • Sugar - plain, granulated, $1.99/bag white sugar
  • Some kind of oil - Olive oil, canola oil, almond oil, use whatever you have on hand.  I used coconut oil because I like the smell and I've convinced myself that it keeps my skin hydrated longer.  This could be total BS, I don't know.
  • Vanilla Extract (or vanilla scented essential oil)
  • Essential Oils (the ones in the picture are coconut and honey almond)
The last two are completely optional.  If you like the smell of sugar and oil, or if you don't have any on hand, skip them.

Next up, measure out some sugar.  The ratio of sugar to oil is 2:1.  I'm using a baby jar, so I only measured out 1/2 cup of sugar.

homemade sugar scrub, 1/2c sugar measured

Pour the sugar into your container.  Use a funnel if you're like me and have zero hand/eye coordination. 

Next, measure out your oil.  If you're using coconut oil, remember that at room tempature coconut oil is solid, but when it heats up it will liquify, thus creating more oil.  Here, to stick with the 2:1 ratio, I measured out a 1/4c of coconut oil.

homemade sugar scrub, coconut oil measured

Put the oil in your jar along with the sugar and stir it up!  Stir it until everything is incorporated.  The final consistency should be gloopy (real technical, I know).  It kinda hangs out on the spoon for a second and then gloops back into the jar. 

homemade sugar scrub, gloopy, spoon, consistency
See what I mean?

At this point, if you don't want to add any scents, you're done!  But, if you do want to add some essential oils, now's the time to do it.  I put in between 5 and 10 drops of coconut essential oil and maybe an 1/8th of a teaspoon of vanilla extract.  Give your scrub a quick stir and go get your shower ready!

The key to using this sugar scrub on your legs is in the process, The Method.  Yes, I'm using capitals.  It's that life-changing.  It's going to sound crazy at first.  You're going to shake your head and say, Laura, you're a frickin idiot, there's no way.  I'm telling you, listen to me, THIS WORKS.  It really, really does.  I didn't take any pictures of this because I sincerely hope you already know how to shave, if you don't, call your mom.

Alright, so, in the shower, do all your normal shower stuff.  Once you've been in there long enough to steam up the bathroom mirror, grab your razor and shaving cream and shave your legs like you normally would.

Once you've shaved your legs and rinsed them off, pop open the sugar scrub and scrub your legs with it.  Rinse it off when your skin starts to tingle from all the scrubbing.  Now, grab your razor and get ready for round two.

See, I told you you'd be shaking your head and calling me an idiot.  Seriously, do it.  I was skeptical at first too.  Shave your legs again, the oil will create a barrier so you don't need to use shaving cream or anything, just shave.

Rinse your razor as often as necessary and try not to look at the yucky dead skin you are shaving off.  

Finish your shower and then before you can get goosebumps FEEL YOUR LEGS.  Seriously, it's amazing, isn't it??  Assuming I don't get goosebumps, my super smooth legs usually last 2 days with no additional lotion or oil; and I can make it 3 or 4 before the stubble gets out of control.  I told you at the beginning this sugar scrub could create world peace!

Now go make some more, wrap it up with a piece of ribbon and a cute spoon and give it to every woman you know.  And since I love ya, I whipped up some super cute labels for you to put on the jars.  Download them here and print using Avery 5163 (or equivalent) labels.

But listen, if you give this stuff as a gift, don't just give them the jar and walk away, or they will throw it with all the other Bath & Body Works rejects in her linen closet.  Tell her The Method.  Let her shake her head and call you an idiot.  Then she will try The Method and she will love you for it.

homemade sugar scrub, final product with spoon and label

You're welcome.

Background Noise for this Project:  Breaking Bad: Season 4, Episode 10:  Salud

Monday, August 20, 2012

Meet the Fam

Alright, so I just deleted and retyped my very first blog sentence at least 14 times.  There's too much pressure!  I'm trying to be witty and interesting and totally awesome all at the same time and that happens to me in real life maybe twice a year. 

And when it does happen in real life, either no one's there to see it or I do something embarassing right after like smile with rosemary stuck in my teeth or my dog pulls me flat on my face or I try to fart silently but it ends up coming out loud and stinky.

Well, sorry Mom.  If you thought I'd stop talking about farting online, you were wrong.  Very, very wrong.  I can see her shaking her head right now, wondering where she went wrong. 

Ok, let's get back on track here!  Since I'll be talking about them a lot, I figured I should probably introduce you guys to my family.

First, there's Dude.  He's really the whole reason I started this thing in the first place.  I always do crafty projects at home; and like any full-grown adult girlfriend, I run and show it to him the moment it's complete and force him to tell me how awesome and cute and amazing it is.  At one point, I made a totally kickass cupcake stand for a friends' bridal shower, this thing was covered in pink and orange and hearts and I forced him, literally at (glue) gunpoint, to tell me how adorable it was.  I figured I should probably get a better audience for all my cute junk and thus, Cute Junk I've Made was born.  And then, like 4 months later I actually wrote this post. 


Next, there's Pepper aka Pepperoni aka Peanut aka Douchebag aka YA BIG GOOBER.  She's a 55lb ball of energy, that has next to zero manners and can spot a rabbit from a moving vehicle and then attempt to crash through the driver's side window to get at it.  She was diagnosed with EPI, a pancreatic difficiency where she cannot digest any food without supplements, at the beginning of 2012.  This crazy disease has been an eye-opener and also created some kind of brain-to-mouth deficiency where I think talking about poop consistency at the dinner table is totally normal and acceptable.

Pepper, dog nose

The last of my furbabies is Zeke aka Zeke Monster aka Tzatziki.  We call him the valedictorian and Pepper is the slacker that you know could get straight A's if she just applied herself.  We adopted him in May of 2012.  As far as I know, my personality has suffered no adverse reactions due to any issues he has.

Zeke tilting his head, me being a jerk and teasing him.  I wrote tasting by accident oh my gosh.
This is what happens when you say his name through a paper towel tube.
Next up, Barney and Clyde the bearded dragons.  We got Barney in 2010-ish and were given every indication that she was a he.  Then one day I cam home to a tank full of eggs.  He's don't lay eggs. 

bearded dragons, Barney, Clyde
That's Clyde on top, Barney on the bottom *snortgiggle*
So once I found out she was a girl, I made the obvious choice to go out and buy another one so we could have babies!!  You should have heard how excited my Mom was when I told her we were  having a baby or two!  That year we ended up with 49 babies, one didn't make it, and the other 48 were all adopted.

bearded dragon babies lounging on a cactus

Last but not least, the final member of our family - SQUIRREL!  That's how his name is spelled, exclamation point and everything.  We found this little guy the first month or so we lived in our house hiding in a corner in our attic.  Legend has it, when I saw him, I screamed SQUIRREL and then ran away and closed the attic door in Dude's face.  I don't know how true this is, I've blocked out that entire evening. 

stuffed squirrel, holy crap that's huge

So that's it.  My little family.  Now, let's get on to the good stuff, you know, the part where you tell me how cute and awesome all the stuff I make is?